the artist formerly known as (kingdra) wrote in prettyquills,
the artist formerly known as
kingdra
prettyquills

Baby Nooooo

Summary: Henry gets captured by a Canadian pop artist.

Char/Pair: Henry/Justin Bieber

Genre: crack, humor... romance/slash kinda

Rating: PG-13





Henry was walking around the streets of Toronto one day when suddenly, a tall man in a business suit stopped him.

"You're Henry Lau, right?" he said.

Henry stared at him.

"... yeah..."

"Come with me," the man said. Then suddenly, he grabbed Henry and started pulling him along, leaving Henry to flail helplessly as he tried to pull back.

"Wait!" he said. "Where are you taking me?!"

"To the man of your dreams."

--

The next thing he knew, Henry found himself in a penthouse surrounded by American rappers.

"Why the hell am I here?" he asked no one in particular, glancing at Ludacris playing Gameboy in the corner.

"A good question," said a voice behind him suddenly.

Henry tried to turn around, but stopped when a hand clamped on his shoulder. Whimpering, he asked, "Wh... Who are you?"

"I," said the voice, "am Justin Bieber."

The hand left his shoulder and Henry turned, only to face the one and only Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber was grinning down at him notoriously, almost manically. It made Henry even more scared.

"Wh-Why..." Henry swallowed. "Why did you bring me here?"

--

Twenty minutes later, Henry was strapped and bound in a chair, as Justin Bieber sat on the couch next to him. He was grinning, until there was suddenly a loud crash from the side.

"Be careful Jay-Z," Justin Bieber said. "That's a new flatscreen."

"Sorry bro!"

Henry stared at them. "You still didn't answer my question," he said to Justin Bieber. "Why am I here? And why do you have me tied to a chair?"

"Because." Justin Bieber got up from his couch and smirked, starting to walk around. "I heard that you sang my song at some Asian concert. And it got me thinking. What's a nice, good-looking, fellow Canadian like you doing in Asia, when you could be with me, eh?"

Henry blinked at him. "I... signed a contract?"

"Yeah, but." Justin Bieber sighed, and rested his chin on his hand. "Listen Henry Lau. There's this thing. It's called... chemistry. And I think we have it."

"What are you talking about?"

"What I'm saying is," Justin Bieber said with a grin, pulling back and sending Henry one of the creepiest smiles he had ever seen in his life time. "You and me. I think we could make a good team."

--

"Okay, so just because I sang your song at a concert," Henry said as Justin Bieber paced around him, "it does not mean that I want to be like you! Or be anything like you!"

"Oh, silly. I wouldn't want that to happen." Justin Bieber waved his hand. Then he leaned down and rested his elbows on the back of the chair. "Though I'd love to have you as my 'baby baby baby ohhh~'"

Henry made a face, Justin Bieber didn't see as he turned around and faced out the window. "Besides," Justin Bieber said thoughtfully, gazing up at the buildings. "If you sang my song at a concert, that means you must at least like me, right?"

"W-Well yeah, I like your songs and everything--" Henry sputtered.

"And we already have the same kind of hair, don't we?" Justin Bieber added.

Henry sent him a look of disbelief. "W-What--We do not have the same kind of hair, what are you talking about?"

"Look." Justin Bieber brandished a mirror out of nowhere and put their two heads together so that Henry could see them. "Don't you see the resemblance?"

Henry stared into the mirror. "I--Uh--"

"Exactly." Justin Bieber put the mirror away and then turned back to Henry with a grin. "So you'll be working with me from now on."

"But--"

"And I'll make sweet love to you every night."

--

Henry barely managed to wriggle out of the air vent. "Finally," he gasped to himself, shaking his dust-covered head and looking out into the streets. "I'm finally out of there."

He got up and dusted himself off, and then looked around. Well what should he do now? It wasn't like he was going to tell anyone that he had just been kidnapped by Justin Bieber. No one would believe him.

Suddenly, a giant hamster appeared out of nowhere. "Henry Lau," it said. "We heard that you were a hamster and we'd like to recruit you to our army."

"... what?"

"And we'd like you to partake in our weekly orgies."


ending notes:
. yeah i'm aware i referred to justin bieber as justin bieber throughout this entire story
. i actually love justin bieber, okay. no offense to anything 8D;
. actually idrk if jbiebz and henry have the same kind of hair... it comes close? XD
. giant hamsters look like this.
. this story was brought to you by bieber eating a twiglet:





Tags: !fic, f: super junior, g: crack, g: humor, g: romance, g: slash, l: oneshot, p: henry, r: pg-13
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